Spnak.com

You think America has the monoploy on change today? Hell no… I have some of the glory too. I changed the header on this here blog. Well I say I changed it. Some one emailed me and said it Sucked and I should change it. So I did something I hadn’t done before.. I commissioned someone to design me a new header.
So now we have a great new header designed by Nik over at Dreamleaf Media and things are all good.. hopefully no more hate filled emails to deflate my ego.

Once again that Link DreamLeaf Media Go there for all your design needs. They do Print work, Web Design work and Logo Design work amongst other stuff. Tell them Paul sent you from Spnak and receive a derisory giggle :o)

Until Next Time…

I have a dream that I will return to blogging and receive a rapturous return from my hundreds of adoring fans. They will await my every word, they will fawn over my every drop letter and drip over my misplaced semi colons (They have to be misplaced I dunno where to use em normally).

I have given those dreams and now blog just for the need to write something down now and again and If anyone reads it then have a blast. My blog will never go away. I have too much there to get rid of it… i just don’t have that much to say anymore. Maybe that will change now that I have more time on my hands. You see dear me.. I lost my job last week. I am now unemployed and for all intenets and purposes unemployable. When you can’t leave the house on your own it makes it a bit difficult to do a days work. I am pretty sure that they don’t allow you to bring your mum to work every day to keep the nasty people from looking at me and talking about me.

Am I downhearted?…. Nah. I knew it was coming I was just suprised it took em so long to do it. The kill was done swiftly enough… about Four weeks from start to finish and that included going to see a works doctor in the middle. If i was looking for another job about now I would be sweating it, but given my health issues work isn’t really a priority at the moment. Getting to a place where i can leave the house unaccompanied is what is on my mind at the moment.

I know I said I wasn’t going to be writing about my Bipolar on here any more but it seemed like the right thing to do and I am not really talking about it it’s just in the background as it always is. I have come to the realisation that no matter what I do I have to take into account the hallucinations, the voices and the paranoia first and then get into the right headspace to do what ever it was I needed to get done in the first place. Some would say it would just be as easy to not do anything and just be strange for the rest of my life…. hey it’s an option I have considered.. but I can’t afford the Tin foil for the hat and windows just yet, but I have a savings plan for it and my design for the tin foil hat is coming along nicely.

I have had an Elvis evening. I downloaded a 10 cd japanese boxset and have just gotten around to listening to some of the tracks of it. It’s the complete singles collection so It has all his well known stuff and stuff that I dug from growing up in a family full of Elvis fans. Looking back to my childhood, Elvis was everywhere. My Uncle Barry did an oil painting that hung on our living room wall for as long as I can care to remember. It was like those pictures of the Mother Mary Catholics have on thier walls, I almost prayed to that damn picture. When I was 7 or 8 I went away on a school camp and we had a talent night, and everyone had to do something … I did my Elvis impression… the kids didn’t get it but the Teachers dug my gyrating hips and snarl. They either got it or they were laughing at me for being a dork… in my present state of mind i think it was the latter HAHAHAHA.

Well that’s it from me for one night.

Until Next Time…

A snapshot of my mind

It’s been a tough few weeks for me but I won’t be commenting on my bipolar much here anymore. I have started a new blog just for my Bipolar ranting. If anyone is interested just drop me a comment and make sure you include your email address and i’ll send you the link.

Here’s to the fun times returning to spnak soon.

Until Next Time…

There have been a few subtle changes and additions around here over the past few days. The one I like the most is the Twitter box over on the right hand side of the screen your now looking at. Twitter is a neat way to pass some time. Go here to find out more.

If you look up at the yellow bar under the header you’ll see two new links. one is pictures which says on the tin what it is on the inside. if your using IE7 or Firefox 2.x then if you hover over the box you’ll find a little drop down menu… each box in the drop down leads to a new page. If your using IE6 or less then you may be out of luck, as my blog is not pretty in IE6 (I know I tried it at work).

The other new link up there is a candid look at my bipolar life. I wrote it as a free form thing. It has structure of sorts but there is not real editing in there, so if you see any typos or English errors…. sorry bout that I’ll try harder next time.

That’s the blog news and now about me (oh selfish one that I am)

I am having a hard time keeping my shit together at the moment. Major Paranoia happening. The Psych has me on to new medications amiprozole for the paranoia and lorazapam for the anxiety caused by the paranoia. I have to get back in touch with him next Thursday. I am taking things one day at a time.  don’t know about work, all i know is that I have Pink Floyd playing as i write this and it’s calming my down a little more that the Lorazapam. I think I am going to cook dinner today and do it early… i am boredof eating dinner at 9pm+

That’s it from me this time.. see three posts in one month so far… you lucky lucky people

Until Next Time…

So it’s Sunday morning and I am awake at 10am I am on my second cup of coffee and my third or forth cigarette and now II am listening to Virgins… NO not that kid of Virgin, but rather Virgin Classic Rock digital radio station. I realise that most of the music I am listening to was made and realised years before I was born. Which makes me feel not quite as old as I did when i woke up this morning aching like a man who had been around for 40 years past his sell by date. But that is besides the point.

“Who is Peter Frampton anyway?”

Why is my listening to a classic rock station important at this time of the morning any more important than me listening to a classic polka station at 4 in the morning, well you see it’s a medical reason.
Part of my Bipolar Disorder gives me the amazing ability to hear voices that aren’t really there. I hear loads of weird shit at every given moment that there isn’t something audible going on. It’s worse when there is no background noice, speaking doesn’t block it out, it just confuses me, TV helps sometimes but more often that not it’s music that has to be playing.
For the past 15 to 20 days I have been having these little psychotic episodes, I must have listened to Dark Side of the Moon 30 times already. I needed a change
I have been going through my archives and there are some missing pictures here and there so I am going to spend today going through and trying to replace to some of the images that are missing and tidying things up… I have to do something semi constructive. Gotta keep the archives up to date, saves me thinking of anything more useful to do.

Apparently this is Peter Frampton… ohh he’s a pretty boy isn’t he.

As you may have noticed that Spnak towers have had a bit of a face lift. It was well overdue and I needed some colour to try and lift my sagging mood a little.

There is also a new scribble under the scribbles link up top of the page. Don’t shoot me it’s been a while since i wrote anything and been brave enough to post it anywhere but the rubbish bin  :roll:

I am also in the midst of trying to update my blogroll and list of links.. it’s not easy to do when you don’t have any set places you hang out and when you do you can never remember when it gets around to sorting the links out.  (OK that may or may not have made sense… it’s nearly 2am sue me)

OK I am Off to bed now.. i seem to have been sat here all day and night.

Until Next Time…

For the first time since I started blogging back in May of 2004 I have missed an entire month. I am ashamed.
But if the truth be told I had diddly to write about. I could have pumped out more useless twaddle but would you have loved me for it?… I doubt it.

I have had a couple of walk in commenter’s lately and I wanna say HIIIIII to those guys. Thanks for stopping by and I hope you still around… to the few people who used to read my blog semi regularly.. hellooooo you still there?

As I say, nothing much has really be happening. I am back working again and getting through it day to day, my medications are all working.. no major relapses for a couple of months now (god bless Lithium) and with the exception of having to find somewhere new to live in the next month and having people chase me for money things are Groooovey.

I will be moving before the end of August so things will be a little quiet around that time again, but hopefully I will be able to post AT LEAST once a week from now on. I am going to go back to what I used to do when I was blogging with Blogger and post pictures and film reviews as and when they spring forth from my imagination.

Anyway I have rambled on long enough for now.

Until Next Time….

It came to say goodbye to those Google Adsense ad’s. I had a pretty mifty run of Pink Floyd and David Gilmour related ad’s there for a while but man as soon as posted again it was over and Robbie Williams Tribute acts started to appear and then it was buy green houses online.. and then today I finally snapped. Today I wanted to know where they got there shit from because we all need a little dose of that mind altering substance for them to put these ads on my Blog:

I feel violated in so many ways .. I need to google me up some help for this shit.

…off for a shower

No I don’t know who the Dingleberry’s are either, but that phrase came into my head as a started to write and thats’ the title of today’s post.

There isn’t a great deal going on at the moment. I am having some major mental issues this week and have decided to take a few days off work to try and resolve them. I am doing everything I can think of to try and break this mega funk I am in. So far no luck, hopefully writing will help.

I have been surfing the web a lot trying to find fun things that will distract my mind for a minute or two. Normally I don’t do the self affirming thing, but today I read something that really made me read and take note of life. It’s a great read and quite possibly should be emailed around the world a couple of hundred times.

I tried playing around with Paint Shop Pro this week too. I used to be quite good at it at one time. I went hunting for tutorials to try and learn something new or maybe find easier ways to do things I already knew how to do. Here is the result:

Ok that’s all i can think of to write for now. Enjoy your weekend if you don’t hear from me before hand.

Until Next Time…

OK, no one feint two blogs in one 24 hour period (hell if this insomnia keeps up there may be more).

Lois over at Home Fires got me signed up to this new(ish) gizmoid called Frappr. Basically it let’s me know who’s reading me and where your from. It’s real easy to sign up to and it’s free. Just go here sign up and then come back and add me as a friend. Dead simple even a one legged dog could walk this one. It didn’t take me twenty minutes to work it out honest.

Here’s my link