Spnak.com

Yesterday at work, it was a long one, the young lady sat behind me made a noise like an Ewok. I made comment that she had made said noise and was met with a blank stare in as much to say
“What language do you speak?”
I tried to explain what an Ewok was and where they come from and was only met with more blank looks from the other young ladies on the desk behind. They too had no idea what an Ewok was.
It was at that point when my head started to spin as i asked them how old they were and what year they were born. They were all 18 or 19 and none of them born before 1988. It was at that very moment I realised how old i really was and that in no short time I would be checking for grey pubic hairs and wondering why a nice cup of tea sounds like a much preferable idea to a night on the beer with the lads…. (Any of you know me then you know that a night out with the lads is a non-existent thing with me anyway … but you get the idea)
I am 33, 34 in exactly one months time and I think I am going to be needing a share options in Just For Men soon.

( by the way this is an Ewok in case any KIDS out there are wondering what this old fart is on about)

Until Next Time…

I hate today. I spend the whole day thinking it’s a different time to that which it really is.

You see the clocks went forward today and I spend the whole day every year thinking:
“Oh It’s 3pm… but really it’s only 2pm… but it’s really 3pm”
And by the time I have my head around it being 3pm it’s actually 4pm and I think it’s actually only 3pm. It’s a vicious fucking circle that will take days to break.

In other news after 8 weeks off work I am going back to work tomorrow. New hours and new desk (no doubt). I should say that I was only off sick for three weeks… but I had to wait for clearance from all kinds of doctors to let me go back to work. Basically it took almost double the time to get back to work than I was actually off sick. Go figure eh!!!!

Oh well off to iron my trousers for work tomorrow.

Until Next Time…

If you read gossip websites and the gossip magazines, you won’t have missed the scandal that is Britney Spears. Now, I was no big fan of her music but let’s face it I am a bloke a schoolgirl outfit is going to ring a few bells. But now that she has gone from the predestined “goodgirl” image that was so carefully manipulated in the press and the media, now people are suprised that the whole shebang is crumbling down around her.

It is repeorted that Britney has Bipolar Affective Disorder. This alone should cause her family concern, add that to her erratic behaviour and you have a clear message that things are not well.
If I get ill and have some crazy ass symptoms I can try and hide them from my family (it rarely works but I try) there is no way that Britney can hide her symptoms as she always has a camera in her face.

It has also been reported that Britney has coverted the attention from the press by tipping off paparazzi as to her movements. This is a classic sign of a manic episode. The need to feel the centre of everyting and the feeling that all you do is worthy of everything. I am suprised someone hasn’t tried to have her sectioned before now, there were so many signs reported:

Self Medication - Drugs and Alcohol
Dangerous Sexual Behaviour
The Lack of Body Image
Obsessive behaviour

Some could say that the issues with her children could also stem from effects of her Bipolar. All in all where her kids are concerned, they are in the best place at the moment, BUT, that doesn’t mean they will always be in the right place away from thier mother.

If I was in a position to advise Britney and her family, then all I would say is find a Psychiatrist and get yourself on a good and balanced medication plan. Your gonna feel like shit for a while until your body gets used to the drugs. But trust me you’ll thanks yourself and the ones who helped you along the way to wellness when your there. It’s not easy, but no one said it would be.

:- Obligatory Run Down from the BBC -:

Mind you I could be wrong about this and she is just plain ol batshit crazy.

So here I am off work for the best part of two weeks due to the old Bi Polar thing playing up and I am actually bored. It’s not right you know. For weeks I have been wishing for time off so I can catch up on some stuff I wanted to do around the old house of Spnak and now I have had the time I have got didley squat done.

So my plan is to just give up work and sit around and procrastinate for a living. I shall of course take occassionall breaks in slacking to actually do something of use to my other spnakers. I shall on the rare times get out of my vibrating chair that is like a (in my brothers words)  Vibrator you sit in (he has such a way with the old wordy type things.)

No really in all seriousness I will not be slacking for much longer as the call of work beckons next Monday where I shall endevour to keep my job until at least my birthday arrives. This my dear readers could be a slight mamouth of tasks seeing as I Get the distinct impression that the old firm are trying to get rid of me. The Farewell cards on my desk over Christmas instead of Christmas cards that would normally festoon ones desk at the jolly old season were a noticeable give away. Not to mention the odd person walking up to my desk and proclaiming

“Oh it’s good to see you back… we were told that you were dead”
“UMMM no” I reply in mock shock ” I just give off that impression when working here and staring at the screen of death for 5 hours a day”
To which they would walk of wondering of I was actually dead or just being a sarcastic bastard….. Both of which could apply depending on my mood at any given moment in a working day.

If I didn’t work it would be so much easier… I could become acquainted again with the joys of daytime TV that one working stiff neglects or has no real interest in when working (even as a part timer who only works in the afternoon I still don’t watch much daytime TV.) Daytime TV really can be useful. Last time I was off for a long time I almost sold the house for 149.995 on Homes under the hammer and I almost moved to New Zealand on a whim when the Wonderful Nadia Swahala said that it was a glorious place to relocate to in your retirement.

I think I should start writing more often just to give my mind something to do other than catch up on Doctor Who shows that I was to young to remember the first time around.

Until Next Time…

OK I have had enough if it.. Why can’t it just keep raining… The sun is doing my melon in. I hate sweating like i am a melting rocky road ice cream.

I can’t wait for October apart from my holiday to America it will start to cool down properly.

This is a tough post to write but I think I have to write about this.

In Sundays Obvserver this week stating that economic migrants should not be automatically put to the top of the queue for social houseing, and that ordinary uk citizens should take priority.

Now as I said at the start of this post it’s a tough one to write. How do I sufficiently explain how I feel without coming across as some right wing nut job who has a long standing membership to the BNP. That couldn’t be further from the truth but I do feel strongly that people who are born and raised in this country should be first on the list for houseing.

I do believe that people who are in trouble and have no where else to go, political migrants, for instance. These people need our help straight away, but if your here to make money just because our standard of lioving is higher than your country then you need to pay your way and not expect the country to pay your way.
Rant over.

For more on this check out the original article

I can’t believe that CBS have cancelled Jericho (linky) It’s one of the shows I CHOSE too watch this year religiously. I didn’t download it… I waited for the Hallmark channel to show it. I put up with the 6 week break in the middle of the run and now they decide to cut us off without any kind of resolution. I am not sure I will bother watching the second half of the series that is about to be shown over here, I don’t see the point really.

BBC NEWS | Entertainment | Des’ree takes bad lyric top spot

OK for the most part I kinda agree with this list. Snap’s song is dumb as fu*k and as much as I liked the Duran’s when i was a kid, Is There something I should know… well DUH.
What bugs me is the entry at number 10. War Pigs by Black Sabbath. Generals Gathered in their Masses/ Like Witches at Black Masses. Pure class on a stick mate. As a spotty 15 year old that line ran through my head and reverberated through my writing. I used to think to myself
“If only i could write one line that people could scream out and be instantly remembered, I could die a Happy death there and then”

It’s not a dumb line that could be classed as such in the parameters set out by Marc Riley it’s obviously be misrepresented. It is after all from one of the greatest Heavy Metal Bands of all time. Next thing you know they will be ripping seven shades out of Spinal Tap’s classic Big Bottom… The bigger the cushion/The sweeter the pushin’/That’s what I am saying…yeah.
I mean that is just a genius streak of lyrical word play that deserves an Ivor Novello award.

OK sarcasm aside, I am shocked that War Pigs is on the list when there are so many other worthy candidates out there.

Until Next Time…

As I return from the blog wilderness and venture to write again on these not so hallowed pages I realise that I have pretty much no taste whatsoever. I have no dress sense. If I could find Iron Maiden shirts in my size I would chop the sleeves off and wear them with pride. If my wife wouldn’t kick my arse I would scuff up the knees on my best jeans and tie dye them with bleach and wear them out in public. I listened to Bon Jovi when Nirvana was all the rage.

This all stems from the movie I watched this morning. BloodRayne. A film so panned by critics and views alike the director should have been used for dart practice on a blind darts team’ night out.
If you had read the reviews this film got on alt.horror you would have thought that this film was as bad as film could get. Uwe Boll should have been strung up by his ankles and had his blood drained (did you see what I did there Blood drained … BloodRayne.. ohhh never mind) for what he did to that film, according to some more “well versed” viewers. Well I think they are all wrong. I enjoyed the living snot out of this film. OK I will admit that it wasn’t the most suave film in the world and the script was clunky in places, but for heavens sake it’s a film about a half breed vampire who absorbs the power of an age old eye into her own eye just by dangling upside down and looking into it.

Lets put it this way. The film passed 99 minutes of a rather dull and wet Monday morning. The bloody bits made my eyes open a little wider and the jumpy bits made me jump. All in all job done.

I really don’t get why people feel the need to run down something that they could never do in a million years.

Keep your eyes open to everything, you never know what you might find…. maybe Uwe Boll strung up by his testicles for yet another game tie in movie.

Until Next Time…